i saw a pair of hummingbirds the other day.
like shooting stars, certainty of their existence is inconsistent
gone in a blink but their essence
i tossed my heart into the night sky,
27th of July,
the day mom gave life her last kiss goodbye.
perhaps it was a few days before, when dad told me she was giving up the war.
i cloaked the throbbing emptiness in buoyant, velvet blue
and floated from person to person. quick, quiet, cold.
worried they might see
my heart was somewhere far away from me.
as I got cozier with life’s new precarity,
sprouts started popping through the frost
reminding me of the bounty of life and love
i thought was forever lost.
a tropical island, blooming with hibiscus and rose
funky earrings, Jimmy Buffett, and fuzzy kitten toes.
nature walks, bonfires, camping trips-
her essence permeates
through my funk, in my fingertips
so i step out of my hiding cloak
and let my heart return home.
let it radiate the rhythms learned in the night sky
tenderly, to the humans who pass by.
knowing, that rippling, purple midnight we share
has hosted billions of hearts tossed
forever united through loss.
written in Spring of 2020